Where have I been?

Sorry I haven't posted anything in such a long time, but to be honest there has been a few disappointments along the way and I haven't felt like sharing, but I'll leave it at that.

 Nothing having to do with the baby, she (which I assume you all know by now we're having a girl!-or did the pink give it away?) is doing great!  She has been kicking me like crazy lately, and it is the best feeling in the world. I feel bad for Frankie though, he has yet to feel her, even though he tries so patiently..soon enough my love, I promise.

So about two weeks ago we had our big Dr. visit - it is called the level II sonogram where they measure everything from head to toe on our precious little girl, and everything went well. She weighed in at 1lb 1oz. She's getting so big, can't wait to see how much weight she's gained in these two weeks. If  my weight gain is any indication--she will be a big baby, lol.

Here is her television debut. It's a little hard to see, and she isn't fully developed yet so a little scary at times too, but of course as her mommy I think she's beautiful!

Just press play..

 I logged onto the blog today and saw my countdown...WOW 116 days and only 16 weeks. I can't even believe how fast this is going now. the first 12 weeks were torture and now it's flying by.. I absolutely cannot wait to hold our little girl!!!

The nursery colors and bedding have been picked. And thanks to the two amazing grandmothers she is going to have the most beautiful furniture- this is the crib and we are getting as slightly different dresser, no armoir because she already has an awesome closet.. All in white! 

Frankie is so proud because he picked out the most beautiful bedding in about 5 minutes, even though I had been searching for days endlessly. I really should start trusting him more with these things. OK here is a sneak peek..I don't want to give it all away..

So the colors will be lavender, green, white, and beige. YES, THERE WILL BE NO PINK!!!!...it is going to look so beautiful I can't wait to get it all done.

I guess it might be time for more belly pictures. Again, I haven't taken too many, but here I am at 18 weeks and then more recently 23 weeks

 

I know I said I would leave it at that for the disappointment, but I do have a few things to say.

One, yes I am pregnant and very thankful, but NO it does not erase what I have gone through these past two years. 

Two, I still cry over our losses and all we have dealt with. It has changed me, I will never be the same person I once was.

It seems that most people in our lives have a short term memory as to all the hurt we have gone through, and believe that just because we are pregnant now that we should forget about the past. It doesn't work that way.

This baby is the biggest most important thing that will ever happen to us, and it is a VERY BIG DEAL!

I know all pregnancies are special, don't get me wrong, but I'm sure you can understand why, to someone who has dealt with infertility, this is super special.. and I just wish that people who know what we have gone through would understand that. I am disappointed because I find that to not be the case at all with certain people. Mainly family members. Go back and reread my posts-- you will feel all the pain I have--it doesn't go away--that is if you even read my blog at all--thanks for caring by the way-yes, that is sarcasm.

So I guess it's not that I didn't want to share, It's more that I think people just don't care.

I guess the lesson to be learned here is try not to expect anything..this way you can't be disappointed.

That being said, I do however, want to thank all the people who do get it and are totally making this pregnancy feel extra special for me - it means A LOT!!!