I had two weeks to get used to the fact that I was miscarrying, not that it's ever easy but I prepared myself, only to see a heartbeat last week, and a strong one at that.
So why I ask, why on God's green earth was that little bit of hope given to me only to be taken away again a week later. WHY??????
I really don't understand what kind of God does that? That was just beyond cruel.
I must rethink my faith at this time because I can't fathom that there is a higher being controlling this, having us go through all this hurt.
I am just so focused on this right now because of my billion years in catholic school. I was raised everyday to think that our fate lies in God's hands, that all we need to do is just believe in Him and He won't let us down. I can no longer believe that, because if I did believe that I would no longer believe in God.
What is it with the 21st--I hate this day -I wish it would be banned from the calendar.
M/C #1- Oct. 21 2008
M/C #2- Jan. 21 2009
M/C #3- July 21 2009
What I really need right now is for people to STOP treating me with kid gloves.
It's OK for you to tell me this sucks, but tell me something, because ignoring me is not helping.
I understand that people don't always have the right words to say, and honestly there is not much I want to hear anymore except for THIS REALLY SUCKS.
But what I could use is a laugh, because I am tired of crying.
This bullshit has to end somewhere, sometime. Right? I mean this just can't keep happening.Right? Who the heck knows anymore.
I'll be waiting for that place and time
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