It's been 3 days since the D&C, and so far I'm feeling OK.
Thank you to everyone who called me or stopped by, I really appreciate your support.
God, I feel like this has become a routine every couple of months, like it's common now for people to brush it off and say "Lori had another miscarriage, what's new?"
I don't truly believe that people really say that, but it's just another crazy thought in my head.
Believe me it does not get easier.
This time around I woke up crying. Not sure why, I must have been dreaming about it. When I saw Frankie, still crying and in a daze, all I could say was "They took our little peanut". :-(
It's strange, because sometimes I'm fine and other times, like yesterday for instance, I just breakdown. It hits me like a ton of bricks. I just keep thinking to myself, how many more times do we have to go through this? When will it be our turn? How do I keep myself from thinking that this will never happen? When will I find joy in everyday life again?
Sometimes I wish I could have a brand new life, but unfortunately there are no do overs.
Not that I wouldn't have married you Frankie, I would have just wished for a different first year as newlyweds.
I really hope I never have to experience another D&C again, it is not pleasant. The actual process is not bad I don't remember any of it, but knowing what it means is hell.
No comments:
Post a Comment