I apparently have super urine because those digitals are picking up an HCG of 13.
Yes, 13, that is the super low new # as of yesterday. Still no definative answer. Still pure torture as I try to get through each day wondering what my little embie is doing in there. Fight little one!
If there actually is hope that this might take off, I'm not feeling it at the present moment.
I keep telling myself I should prepare for my 4th miscarriage. I don't really want to believe that though.
I want to believe that by some miracle this pregnancy could be the one, but it's so hard to feel that way after 3 previous losses and having the betas start out this low.
I am back in that bad place, the place I swore I would never go to again. The place where I lose all hope of ever being a mommy.
And for those of you who want to tell me it will happen eventually, think about how much of this you would be able to endure, and where you might be mentally, and emotionally if you were in my shoes right now.
Then come back and tell if EVENTUALLY would be the word you'd want to hear. Tell me you would want to continue going through this pain and suffering when really, in the end, there are NO guarantees.
I don't know how much more I can take. My strength is dwindling by the second.
Pray for us St. Gerard. Please.
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